I have not paid close attention to whether these stories have gone national or not (I’ll try to check that later) but they are a big thing here in good old Albuquerque New Mexico. I know it’s a bit to read, but reading the following articles will help you understand better what I’m about to express. These are all from the Albuquerque Journal since Thursday July 9 2015.
All caught up?
My biggest rub with all this is the fact that the six boys are teenagers.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a seriously hard life, and I know many of my friends and acquaintances have as well. In fact, I am willing to bet there is a great number of people out there who have had a rough life. Some more than others, but we know little about them because unlike these six they didn’t commit murder.
First off, they are babies. Seriously, look at those faces! Their lives haven’t even BEGUN much less can be considered hard times. And my most annoyed aspect of all this is indeed the lack of parenting involved in this.
No, I wasn’t an angel throughout my childhood, I shoplifted, accidentally trespassed (I still stand that there was NO SIGN!!) and at times stayed out all night. I however, did have the sense that breaking and entering homes or vehicles (that weren’t my parents mind you) was absolutely not cool. If any of the group even suggested we do this, they were either left behind or bitched out heavily.
Our parents were there to instill such a sense into us. And to be honest, my grandmother pretty knew where to find me if she wanted to. It’s not like I ever kept where I went a secret. Of course we also had places we COULD go on the weekends (strangely during the school week, we were home in bed by 10pm) and grandma-ma knew where the teen club was and generally what route I’d take to walk home if I didn’t bum a ride from some of my older friends.
If I wasn’t at either place, there was always Denny’s or IHOP. And if those failed, I had a pager. I also know I might have been one of the few teens I knew who did this (although all of my friends parents knew where to find their kids by asking my grandmother and soon they learned as well–it’s amazing what happens with communication).
To get straight to the point and not draw this out, I do hold the parents of these teens just as responsible as the kids themselves. Although only one poor child had a gun (why? Where did it come from?) and used it (twice-second time he killed with it) all of them were responsible. When they discovered their friend had a gun (sadly this kid’s last name is King, like Martin Luther King Jr but hopefully no relation at all) why didn’t the other boys turn to him and say “Oh hell no! You loose that thing or take a walk alone!” Did these kids’ parents not teach them that having a gun could be a recipe for absolute disaster? That shooting at people is the worst thing you can do with a gun?
Another question that sadly comes to mind is why it is the African American child who had a gun and used it? I can seriously hear all the people who have been trying to update people’s views on color and violence cry as they are taken back miles upon miles from the progress they have been able to slowly make. I can’t help but wonder if King was so upset at the current state of African Americans getting shot by police that he took it out on the first “white” man he could.
Or he could be just a uneducated child who needed his parents guidance and support and never got it.
The curiosity in this mix is the 17-year-old Ryan Archibeque. He’s the ONLY one with no previous record and had a job. Obviously his being the eldest wouldn’t have in any way sway the others from ‘mobbing’ around, but why would he participate? He had a good idea or right and wrong so far–or is very good at not getting caught.
If you’ve read the above articles you have read about the kids family life as it’s known to CYFD and APD.
The last article where the mother snaps back at us all who are calling her and the other parents out for failed parenting is quoting her as saying
“I’m not saying he’s not involved, but they’re bashing me who has nothing to do with it,” Hubler said. “This is my son. I’m going to back up my son. I love him. He could be the worst person on earth, but I’m still his mom, and I’m still going to be there for him, no matter what.”
The article goes on to say
Andrew Hubler, a ninth-grader, had attended Highland High School until late April when he disenrolled, according to a spokesman for the Albuquerque Public Schools. He was supposed to transfer to another school, but he didn’t show up.
He has two other cases pending, one for criminal damage to property and another for shoplifting, possession of alcohol by a minor and battery.
Linda Hubler said she works the graveyard shift as a nurse’s assistant and is often working all night.
“My son wasn’t even on the premise when there were gunshots,” Linda Hubler said. “Maybe he needs to make better choices of friends. I don’t like the fact that she’s bashing me and my son and the parents when I do everything to get what my kid needs.”
Linda believes she has nothing to do with her child being out on the streets breaking into houses and vehicles after midnight. What she clearly doesn’t understand is that she has EVERYTHING to do with it. She obviously did not instill in her son that stealing, damaging what’s not yours, hurting other people is a bad thing or how to say no to “friends” who may want to do these things.
Her excuse seems to be the fact she works graveyard shift. Well my mom was always working but my grandmother was there. There was someone my mom trusted to watch my brother and I when our parents were out working their butts off to provide a good life for us. One that didn’t ever involve police intervention or time spent in Juvenile Detention.
She is so clouded by her “love” of her son she goes on to exclaim that her child was even on the premise when there were gunshots. The first time or the second time? Did her son walk away and tell someone about what happened afterwards? Did he do the right thing. No, one of the other kids did and now his life is in danger for doing so! He was there. He helped create the environment that ended in a life being taken.
Linda, what your kid needs is you. You allow him to disenroll from high school completely (no good parent would do this without a damn good reason) and he has two other cases pending against him. I suppose he wasn’t on the premise either of those times as well?
Parents are to teach their children right from wrong so that when they sneak out of the house (and oh yes they will) they aren’t breaking into houses and vehicles or hurting other people. It’s not about the kids being out when perhaps they shouldn’t be, it’s about what they were DOING while out. THAT is what separates the parenting fails, from the parenting wins.
Until next time, not all teens are vicious animals, not all African Americans are violent. But parents and society as a whole is doing very little to prove that the good outweighs the bad. There are good stuff reported in the news–working at the Albuquerque Journal for the last two years has shown me that. But what is remembered, as I have learned, is all the bad. No matter who is behind it; teens, African Americans or police. Try to remember the good and don’t glorify the bad.